Title: Reversal
Author: moi. <3
Rating: R for language.
Pairing: MatsuMiya, Ohmiya
Genre: Angst. (I make my own category of Angst, you'll see.)
Disclaimer: I own my weird and demented excuse for a mind. Thus, this fic was born.
Summary: Nino wants Jun. (yeah, I know.)



Reversal

The way his hair wavered in the breeze attracted me to him at first.

This special someone so incandescent and indifferent to the fact, drove me mad. He sat, legs crossed, book leaning on his lap, peaceful. His glasses slipped to the end of his nose, burgundy frames made them that much more stylish. His elegant digits covered the name of what he was reading, or I might have used it to my advantage. I knew how much he appreciated humor and intellect in a potential lover.

Falling gently next to him, I gazed. I stared, I watched, I prayed. I wished he'd look at me, forgetting his pointless and fictional novel for once. I waited patiently, aware of my time wasting away, like a sunny day spent inside a dusty house. I learned to remain silent through my internal turmoil over Jun, throughout the brewing inside of myself.

Patience was a virtue, especially when it came to Jun.

"Yes Nino. I can feel your eyes burning into my skin."

At last, a sign of hope made my day. I smiled, pleased that I'd acquired his attention, at least for the moment. I leaned closer, gently stroking his thigh in appreciation. He grumbled some kind of objection, but probably remembered how nice it felt being near me. Some part of him must have loved me at one point.

"Nino, what do you want?"

Such a simple question had just one answer, but many ways of expressing it. I want you Jun; the man I've longed for as the years have worn me down. I want you Jun because of the way you stalk my mind, causing permanent damage with little retribution. I want you Jun because of the way you can pierce into my soul and make me feel complete for that moment.

"Earth to Nino, what do you want?" He snapped, the way he always did.

"You."

And just like that, my dignity was gone.

I had wanted to seduce him, bringing him to me. I'd wanted him to devour me whole with all that I would have built up in him. I wanted his teeth to scrape and burn and fill my senses, and tempt him as much as he tempted me. I had wanted revenge on him for the way he swayed his hips at me, knowing I was hypnotized, knowing I couldn't tear my eyes away for anything in the world. He knew me too well.

"I know. But was there something else? I'm busy." He flipped to the next page in his book, adjusting his glasses quickly.

He always did this to me, this frequent torture he gained pleasure from. It made me sick how he would only call me around midnight, only for my body, only to fuck me and leave me to rot. My stomach turned and I wished I were cruel enough to take him then and there, but I'd never do that to anyone. Even if they deserved it. So I did the only thing I could do.

"Fuck you Jun." I slapped his book to the ground and stormed off.

Luckily, I lived with a little man named Ohno. And he loved me, but not in that way, and he cared for me better than my own parents. I hated sharing my feelings with anyone, but I just couldn't hide it from him. I opened the door slowly, trying to enter unnoticed, I could feel the tears at the corners of my eyes. There was a flush sound followed by a door opening, Ohno smiled.

"Welcome home, how was Jun today?"

I grumbled. I didn't want to talk about that person, wanting to permanently erase him from my mind and every sense I possessed. I wanted him to be dead inside, like I was. I kicked off my shoes, flopping onto the couch and immediately grabbed a pillow to comfort myself.

"He's just peachy." I looked out the window. Even the birds chirping made me bitter.

"Nino-chan, did he do something?"

I wish, is what I'd like to say. He wouldn't even give me the time of day, is more like it. He made me feel like the smallest creature in the world. No, the smallest creature's infant, that's how insignificant I am to him. Just some beast he can step on when he feels, and use when his urges kick in, that was I.

I could feel it sliding down my cheek, I couldn't stop it. Ohno's eyes grew wide, he was very sensitive, especially with friends. He was already sniffling on my shoulder, trying to snatch the pain away from me, his hands full of the cotton from my shirt. It only made it worse when he cried, I just felt bad for dragging him into it. I wiped the liquid from my lashes, patting him on the shoulder and flashing one of my famous peace signs.

"Don't worry, I've learned my lesson."

His squinted eyes meant he understood and his cute, toothy grin provided me with a warm, comforting feeling. Ohno was my saviour, my night in shining armor. And of course he held a special place in my heart though we couldn't be lovers. We were too good of friends; our relationship much more emotional than physical and I was content with that. He was my better half and I was his needy child.

"Nino, want me to make some pasta? I heard carbs make people happy."

He knew everything, and I loved him for it.

"I'd love some of anything you decide to make."

~~~

I woke up, Ohno wrapping me in his arms, both of us tangled on the sofa. I tried to unravel his limbs from mine, the toilet was calling my name. I wasn't very graceful in the morning though, ending up bundled in endless loops of sheets and blankets on the floor. Ohno whimpered and turned over automatically. I didn't want to wake him, he deserved his rest.

I finished my business, heading for my laptop and cellphone. I always received nice messages from Sho and Aiba. Aiba lived with Jun, so he knew how I felt about him. He grew a thick layer of skin from knowing him, as well. He wrote me a quick hello and asked if I wanted to go out for karaoke.

Sho used to date Jun, and him being almost as sensitive as me, it didn't work out for long. Jun likes to dominate and be dominated at the same time, which most people can't handle. He'd written me a long, wordy email with lots of hearts and hugs. They were both such sweet men, it's a shame it didn't work out between them.

But to my disarray, Jun had also sent me a message.

"If you'd stop being a little selfish brat for five seconds maybe you could have me. Meet me tonight at 8pm, my place. --Jun"

Why would I put myself through this agony again? Was I so masochistic that I enjoyed his head games? No, I absolutely despised them. I endured it because I loved him, simple as that. And Ohno would have to regroup the pieces of me afterwards. I don't know how he could stand me.

I couldn't even stand looking at myself in the mirror anymore. I glared at my reflection. The outcome of my visits with Jun was always the same; I'd come home in a daze, feeling empty and disgusted, falling into Ohno's arms, fighting for relief. I didn't want to go through it anymore, but I couldn't resist Jun.

~~~

He was already revealed when I opened the door.

He didn't speak, he didn't even kiss me. It was rough, it was raw, it burnt through layers and layers of skin. I craved his afflictions just as he wanted me to obsess over him. Parts of my very being chipped away with every second that he used me, screwed me and left me drowning in sorrow.

His hands grabbed, distorting my skin. He left his marks across my body, owning me, showing everyone that they couldn't have me. But even he didn't truly want me. I was just there; ready and wiling. A fool like me earned this treatment. I brought it upon myself.

His smile, once it was over, haunted me. I could feel my body trembling, ready to collapse into the darkness he set in front of me. I'd lost my identity, he'd broken me and he loved it. And then he threw me out when there was nothing left.

In the street, like a whore, unworthy of his love, I staggered home. Ohno opened the door for me, sensing I would have broken through it with my anger, my banging on the entrance becoming frantic. His eyes teared up, pulling me close, tighter.

"Why did you go?"

I could almost touch his aching heart if I reached for it. He scrubbed his fingers across the back of my neck, a soothing feeling taking over my body. This man was kind no matter how wretched I looked when I returned. He held me, tears flowing with no end, trying to calm my breathing.

I sighed.

I was the reason we weren't together. I'd chase Jun instead of Ohno, wanting what I couldn't have. I could feel he wanted me, I ignored it blindly. Unwilling to give him any chance, I was just as bad as Jun. I pushed Ohno the way Jun denied me. I was scum.

"Ohno, I'm sorry."

But he still cried, putting a hand over my dampened lips, stopping me from pursuing my apology.

~~~

The next morning, my stomach turned. I felt like I was at sea, gasping for air, humanity too far away to grasp. Ohno's lips were reddened, heat between us probably too elevated. His hair, a mess of fluff and spikes tickled my chest. His nail polish was chipped, his nails slightly cracking, his skin chaffed. My hands clutched his shoulder, bruising him with my filthy fingers. All this led me to a devastating conclusion:


I'd sunken to Jun's level.


//fin//

this was a really good one.
i got a little teary at the end...

but really good work

this was really good. not to explicit but the raw emotions were there. ah too heavy. maybe nino-chan should date sho, ne? ^^

o.o Wow. I LIKED it. XD I couldn't stop reading until I got to the end.
I'm actually amazed. I hope you write more fics in the future. Good luck~

thank you so much.

your comments mean a lot to me....^______^v

I'll try to write more soon.

WOAH! sugoi!!!!
write some more sensei!

that was so good! keep up the good work!

thank you ~~ -bows-

been a bit busy lately, but i'll try.

oh wow that such a good story keep writing more stories please

I liked it. Nino's usually the cool one so this portrayal of him is a nice change.

Ohmiya...=x Poor Nino and how Mr DoS got to him that he's turned into Mr DoS to Ohno.

A nice change from the fluffy ending stories. Stories like these are a nice read.

i wrote a few more recently...some matsumiya, haha
im not sure if they're 'safe' enough to post here..lol

aww. thank you for this beautiful fic!
very good story.
thank you!
please continue writing fics.

thank you so much for reading. ^-^

and i will continued, dont worry...heh.

-bows-